This is quite a jump from my usual posts ( I don’t even post so much anyway lool) but it has been something I wanted to read and research on, and had done it quite extensively this recent week.
What exactly is the situation in this modern world?
Of course it’d be my dream to be able to talk and ask an actual person from a different race/culture/country about this and what they really think but since I don’t have a social life both real life and online, I can only scour the net as my endless resource lol
I’m using interracial and interfaith interchangeably (lool too much ‘inter’ words) because a person can be Muslim and not be classically identify as Muslims (eg Arabs. There are actually a lot of Arabs that are of other religions). Also a person may not wear hijab but is a Muslim. People would say that Islam isn’t a race (it isn’t but it’s too often to find people over the net judging a certain race to have it as their religion) and would exclude people of a rather different race (eg white Muslims who wear hijab) from the subject. So yeah if I use interracial only it wouldn’t be accurate to what I’m trying to write.
I recounted the stares I get when we were on that vacation in Samui where foreigners (westerners) kept on looking like they haven’t seen one and it’s uncomfortable. It was weird. I mean it’s not like there are no Muslims who frequented Thailand. It borders with a Muslim country and even have regions that has many Muslims.
It’s the first time that I was ever been in that kind of attention. I have never been to a western country to compare though. The farthest I’ve been overseas is Korea, where people look too, but is understandable since their country is homogeneous.
Unlike in the west. Lots of cultures in one place (at least in the city) and chances are they have seen one before.
So I am quite recently very interested in the subject of interracial relationship mainly because I’m one of those that has an open mind on interracial relationship (and finds them really inspiring), has a mild preference to date someone outside of my race if given the chance (not out of spite though) I would’ve explain better partially why (because I don’t think that I’ve figured it out 100%) in later post maybe but,
I would probably do it but to think of the many many barriers that exist in the realms of making and sustaining a relationship.
Specifically of a westerners view of a girl who wears a hijab (since it’s my situation). I’ve already understood the situation in my country, sort of. Main barrier is we have a law that dictates no marriages between a Muslim and a non-Muslim. People have done it but they’d eventually migrate somewhere else where their union won’t be disturbed.
I really wanna know what do they think of us when they see us? And the question: are we repulsive or attractive?
From what I gathered over random blogs, articles, message boards and forums including Reddit, this is it:
1) More often than not, they are attracted, but due to the no-go situation that presents itself they won’t pursue it. Some say prolly try it if the girl is reallyyy attractive and he can’t stop thinking about her but most say they would never ever tread that direction.
– that situation means when a girl in hijab is presumed to be very religious apart from their non hijabi counterparts. It’s easy to tell which is off limits and which aren’t – if they’re wearing a hijab. I’m saying this from the guys’ perspective that won’t mind dating a Muslim girl at all but she must not wear the hijab.
– the different culture and religion would be too much of a baggage to overcome in a long term relationship
– they mentioned about difficult family backgrounds where the family have a big say over her life decisions and it’s something off putting
– also it is assumed that the religion itself isn’t something they could’ve get along with because of the nature of it (words used eg backwards, cult, stoned age, oppressed etc) so a girl following this way of life must have qualities/personalities that they don’t want in a girlfriend
– too much incompatibilities in other specific areas
– thinking right off the bat that a hijabi girl won’t consider them as potential partners as they would’ve prefered someone from their own religion (and is religious) so why start in the first place?
– these people seemed to think that they’re actually being polite and respectful by not approaching her
– they view hijab as a huge barrier in forming a relationship. They would’ve like to, but wouldn’t because of that thing on her head (ikr lol)
2) In the middle ground, they are not attracted to nor repulsed. It’s just not their type and doesn’t flick anything on their minds.
– same like before these people doesn’t think that there’d be any possible chances anyway but they in the first place isn’t open to it. Might as well score a girl with similar attributes than foreign ones.
3) A group of them are definitely repulsed by it and by no means are open nor attracted.
– personal preferences to see hair and more physical features to be attracted to a girl no matter the religion.
– they simply dislike people who are religious regardless of religion
– they dislike the Muslim faith in the first place
– they disagree with the idea of hijab. Some say it’s a disadvantage to a woman’s beauty. Why would you hide your hair?
4) The weird ones. These guys could be trying to approach her simply because she is off limits by his standards. They have a certain picture of hijabi girls and would do it out of personal reasons that aren’t so…pure. It’d be just for fun because they knew it’ll not materialize.
Worthy of mentions:
– one out of 650+ messages has a good understanding of what is hijab and why muslim women wear it and is not repulsed by it for the correct reason. It is very rare to find this type of person.
– one guy said that he was always having these attractions for girls in hijab but never ever told anyone in real life because he knew he’d scare them. lmao
– a few did say that it just purely because they have different beliefs. Not a negative, not a positive. Just a fact that couldn’t be thrown away.
– one admitted to trying out his luck with a hijabi girl simply for fun because he knew the girl doesn’t even consider him anyway.
– one had an actual relationship (it didn’t work out I assumed) with a hijabi girl from a different country and he had only good memories out of it. He said the experience was the same like every other he had with girls of his own country and race. His words were interesting : ‘It is attractive to the open mind.’
– about 5 shared how they would’ve hit it off if the girl actually made an effort to flirt/show clearly that she does considered him as a potential partner and they’d definitely go with it. Crazy isn’t it?
– a few suggested that hijabi girl should take the hijab off if she wants some male attraction and sending the right signals for dating. holy crap!
I must point out that what I’ve collected as a conclusion would be incomplete and probably just a tear off a duct since I haven’t spoke to anyone of my subject interest in real life and was processed through my own mind while having no experience in interracial relationship whatsoever but,
I can see a pattern of men not seeing the hijab itself as a barrier per se but more because of the reason behind it. It signifies loudly that that girl is following a belief system religiously and is simply put off by what it means as per their own understanding. This is the case if the guy doesn’t mind the religion. For some people that dislike/hate Islam in the first place it’s more revolting to even consider them as attractive.
To rephrase, a girl who wears a hijab is generally off limits in a westerners’ dating pool. They can be attracted but won’t ever act on it for a multitude of reasons. But as in every other interracial relationships between other religions and cultures, one thing remains the same – it’s not for everyone.
* The author apologize beforehand if anything written offended a reader and welcome any comments/discussion/sharing about the topic. *