Aku di akhir semester sudah. 5 days to go into December. Felt unreal. Nearing the end, we have tonnes of responsibilities to fulfil. I can’t say assignments cause it’s more than that. It’s those stuff that if you don’t do it properly you won’t be graduated….we don’t think about fking marks anymore. Fuck marks. We just want to pass. We can settle happily without flying colours.
I’m pretty sure no one would be with me
It’s not usually a sad thought to realize that you gonna be alone for the rest of your life..
I have so many things going on.
but it’s because I realize that, I have to be without you.
For the rest of my life.
It breaks my heart and I stumbled down with tears in my eyes.
No one can break me down until you came into my life..
I escaped into passionless work and meaningless conversations.
I tried to be into everything that I’m doing and everything I need to be.
I get into everyone’s way to keep going forward, to never miss out on anything,anyone
My life is adrenaline, my life is full of challenges and suprises that I seek
But I know it’s just a way to feel alive again..
I can put up with all the shitty things in my life
But I can never grow out of your memories
Of the kind of gleam I’ve had when I’m with you.
Don’t pity me my friend.
Don’t say you pity me.
I don’t pity myself.
I accept that truth and reality are real. And what I don’t have is just that.
You were the sweet weight tugging on my heartstrings,the reason I cried to sleep
The hope I would wait all my life for, The one I can never replace.
Now Playing: Gong Endir (Sigur Ros, Takk 2005)
I covered my body with the bed sheet in my reach and my eyes felt hot with tears again. I thought all tears had left me, but it escaped still. Brimming tears slowly fall silently without a sound.
Now that’s a nice combination.
I get self absorbed when talking about November.On the 7th 1989 I was brought into this world,impatiently as my mother always tells me that I was literally sliding out.How sick is that.hahhaha.
So I wished myself birthday before anyone else did.I don’t get too many wishes as I’m lazy to say my wish to others,even family.My laziness exceeding anything else. –_- Me and my family assemble around the dining table and recite prayers and eat Domino’s Pizza (fave Top Secret Classified Chicken) and talking and eating some more and and and..that’s it.Anyone new to my family will thought of us as super boring party crashers.But that’s the way it is in my home and it’s not boring.At least we’re not a pretentious lot who throws birthday bashes at expensive restaurants and eating expensive meals with ‘friends’ whom you never shared any meaningful conversations to begin with except talking about each other’s pride and possessions and get a 160 pictures spread on social networks to show the world.That’s what I’d say boring.
People are what makes or break it.You can’t possibly be happy celebrating when the person that you miss isn’t there with you.Or when you go to a glitzy event…without knowing any guests personally.I hate when I have to converse without any intentions to continue it.
I am 22.I am still clueless about some things…but experience has shed some light into what I hate and love.Main goal right now is TO GTFO FROM UNIVERSITY.Isn’t my life’s sad?But it’s damn difficult. =(
Song of the day:
Effing cool people.Grrrrr.