A brilliant song by Craig Armstrong (feat. Liz Fraser).The movie Cruel Intentions OST.
Love is a strange thing indeed.sesiapa yg tak pernah mengalaminya mmg x kan setuju dgn ayat ni.tapi mmg betul..ni la yg kita akn rase…
masa mula2 nak rasa,gelabah semacam.yela,pelik dgn diri sendiri.pelik dgn perubahan perasaan yg berlaku.bila tengah rasa,bahagia+sedih.bila dah terlepas,kecewa,mcm kat dunia ni dah xde org lain.ingatkan kita dah lupe,rupenye blm lupa lagi…semua kenangan yg pernah dilalui masih ada kat dlm ingatan.tambah2 pulak,rasa rugi sbb tak buat ape2 utk menyelamatkan keadaan…
pernah baca novel “Veronica Decides To Die” oleh novelis terkenal dari Brazil, Paulo Coelho?Kisah Zedka, penghuni Villette Asylum di Slovenia.Kisah dia dan Impossible Love.
It was so stupid.Plunging into depression and madness all because of a man whose current wherebaouts she didn’t even know,but with whom she had fallen hopelessly in love in her youth,since,like every normal young girl,Zedka had needed to experience the Impossible Love.
…Despite her determination to put up with everything in the name of love,the relationship didn’t work out.He never said anything directly,but one day,Zedka realised that she was no longer welcome and she returned to Slovenia.
Zedka akhirnya berkahwin dgn lelaki lain yang mencintainya dan melahirkan beberapa org anak…Tapi satu petang,dia berjalan di depan patung skulptur Preseren,seorang tokoh penyair/karwayan Slovenia yg terkenal pada masa dahulu,dan terfikir tentang kisah cinta Preseren itu.Preseren x pernah dpt memiliki gadis yg dicintainya dlm diam,gadis upper middle-class masa zmn itu bernama Julia Primic.
…Even after death,Preseren gazes for all eternity on his Impossible Love.(Julia Primic)
And what if he had fought a little harder?
And Zedka ask herself: did I fight hard enough?Should I have accepted my role as mistress,rather than wanting things to go as I expected them to?Did I fight for my first love with the same energy with which I fight for my people?
Zedka persuaded herself that she had,but the sadness would not go away.
What once had seemed to her a Paradise-the house near the river,the husband whom she loved,the children eating popcorn in front of the television-was gradually transformed into a hell.
Strange love indeed.Why don’t she just ACCEPT the fact that her first love is indeed,Impossible to have?why can’t she just leave this all behind.bknnye xde org lain.tapi kenapa?kenapa mesti org tu,yg dah lama pergi masih x pergi lagi.why,why,why…love is so full of why’s.strange stuff.
Really,are First Love of ours meant to be like this?I dunno.Can people get their Impossible Love if they fought harder?and then everything can change?will we succeed?will your life will be better than now?
Reading this novel brings the same question to my head.The question Zedka asked herself…Strange question to ask yourself.Selepas itu,Zedka dimasukkan ke Villette Asylum krn depresi.Depresi x dpt menerima hakikat.
But despite her story,I can’t help but asked myself that question too.But came out with no answer.